"My future is in Your hands"

Balananda stood on the large rock that sits on the path from the Skandasramam down to the Sri Ramanasramam.

He looked down at the whole of Tiruvannamalai in front of him, the large Arunachaleswara Temple, and some scattered houses and temples here and there. (Remember that these were early days and little had been developed as yet). This was the Tiruvannamalai of the early days of Bhagavan, the wandering days, the days prior to even Virupaksha Cave, when Bhagavan was not yet named Bhagavan, when Bhagavan was nameless, referred to as the young swami, or the Brahman Swamy, or Chinnaswami... the days when Arunachala itself was in the ecstacy of His beloved son returning to him after so long.

For centuries, maybe since the time the earth was born, Arunachala had sat still waiting ... waiting ... waiting for the coming of Bhagavan Ramana. And now the wait was over. The son was here, his gentle feet kissing the cheeks of Father Arunachala.

And so, in this holiest spot in the universe, the Arunachala Hill, sat a little creature on a rock, feeling like the skies had suddenly opened up to reveal something behind them, or the skies had crashed, and something heavenly had poured through.

It was like a new beginning. When the first ray of God's love breaks upon a living being, it is like being born again. What was he to do?

Would he go back to the troublesome sadhus (Jagaswami and Krackiswami) and explain that he was leaving them forever? That would result in an argument, a lot of lies (from them), a long pointless debate.

Or would he just not meet them at all, never tell them that he was off. Just vanish from their lives without a word.

Or would he go back and pretend to be one of them, and double-cross them ? Pretend he was trying to catch Spotty but really be on the cubses side. That sounded exciting especially since he was known to be cunning, but to what benefit. He was sortanly no longer wanting to establish himself as an enlightened guru. All he could think of doing was to surrender to this loving power which had enveloped him, snuggled him in fact, like a loving mother. So this was out.

Balananda not sure which way to go, but welcomes the future with open arms

He felt he must do his bit in helping the cubs against the designs of the troublesome sadhus. Also, their siddhis in the hands of Jagaswami could be dangerous.

What was very clear to Bala was what he was NOT going to do henceforth. But what he should do, was unclear.

Out of the blue, the face of that young peaceful swami, whom Jags had troubled quite a bit, came to him. And then a thought crossed his mind that whatever power had brought him to this point, would carry him further.

The young swami on the hill

He had lived all along, at odds with the world, struggling against it, always worried about tomorrow and what ups-and-downs it might bring. But now he felt in harmony, he felt a deep trust of the power governing this world, there was only a sense of excitement at what this loving power had planned for him, and what new wonders it would deal him next.