Confidential Report on Tiger Stripes

Stripes is quite an embarassment for a tiger, notes Bala'swami

Balanandaswami (Bala) had been given the job of finding out more about the Lion and Tiger family (while Jagaswami and Krackaswami lazed about in the mansion, no doubt).

He pulled out the report card he had deviced. He would rate Stripes between one and ten for various traits. The first one said "Fierce looks".

Tiger pulls tongue out to frighten mortal enemy

One look at Stripes and he confidentally put a Ten in the box.

The next trait was "Aggressiveness".

Tigers are feared for their aggressive nature

Not much to think of in this department. He neatly printed a fifteen.

The third trait was "Intelligence and Cunning".

Tiger opposes deforestation

After some balanced assessment, Bala was forced to admit that Stripes did rate high in this department and so an eight point five was awarded.

Further observation made him feel that perhaps the report card as it had been made was rather unsuited to the assessee at hand.

Tiger enjoys vegetarian meal, and sings nursery rhyme alongside

Traits like Eccentricity would have shown Stripes up more favorably than Ruthlessness. Anyway, he wondered how much higher he could exceed the full score of ten, before putting one hundred against Ruthlessness.

Tiger grapples bare-handed with dreaded Spherosaurus

The next trait was Hunting Skills. Without a thought Bala quickly scribbled "Not applicable" against it.

Holy Fox, what's this is see?

The more he watched the more he realized that capturing Spotty would be Mission Impossible.

Tigers are experts at self-defence

Animals of all sorts were stomping all over Stripes, and he would just wiggle his ears, or raise his head slightly with irritation, or toss his tail about. While one cub would pull his tail, the other would charge over his neck, or nibble his ears.

As part of the final assessment, Balaswamy chewed his pencil a bit and then wrote thoughtfully:

Tiger Stripes is a formidable enemy. Our plan must involve multiple forces attacking from all four directions in order to keep Stripes at bay. Defeating Stripes is clearly impossible, distraction seems to be the only alterative.

It is suggested that a herd of elephants and a few dragons are employed for this task.