There was a knock on the door. Kracks almost did not bother anwering it, but curiosity got the better of him.
And there on the doorstep was a lone Russian.
"Yes?" said Kracks.
"I was ... er .... looking for my old friend Leicameister ... he said to drop by if I were ever in the area," said the Russian, bravely. "And here I am," he added, with a huge embarrassed grin. Everything in India had been a surprise to him ... it almost seemed natural that a large ox would open the door when he went looking for Volker, whom he had not seen for twenty years.
Kracks knew quite well, from searching through every drawer and shelf in the house, that Volker Leicameister was the owner of the mansion.
Ever quick to convert another's confusion into an opportunity for personal gain, Kracks said, "Do come in, esteemed sir."
"Oh, I guess Leicameister must have moved," said the Russian, glancing to each side and stepping gingerly. The streets of Tiruvannamalai had been shockingly soiled, but this was something else! And if there was one thing he knew about his old friend, it was that he would never have so much as a pencil out of place, let alone a rug covered with ... what was this? ... bones ... broken glass ... trampled on biscuits ... tipped over coffee mugs ... banana peels ... He hardly wanted to inspect too closely. Small things were crawling amidst the rotting food.
"Not exactly moved," said Kracks. "He has turned his life and home over to a higher purpose. Like the wisest on this planet, he desired Enlightenment. Unlike most, he has taken the necessary steps. He has submitted to my Grace-given, God-pleasing, karma-eating, vasana-dissolving program, and he is just a hair's breadth away from full and permanent Enlightenment.
"And ... the mess?" asked Dmitri, boldly.
"He was being held back from fully embracing God by an obsessive cleanliness. Part of his Liberation involves surrendering that compulsion ... and so I ask him to throw down a piece of rubbish each day. It is my infinite Love for All Creation and The Great Goddess Entropy which enables me to work with id... er, humans, in this sacrificial way. What pain my holy hoofs go through! But I will endure anything for the sake of this formerly God-forsaken realm."
"I see," said the Russian. Old Volker, almost enlightened! Could it be true? Well, why would an ox make up such a story? Back in university, Volker has always been just a little better than Dmitri at everything. Though Dmitri hated to admit it, it had driven him almost around the bend the way Volker had studied less but always scored a few points higher, skied on older equipment but always beat him down the slopes ... smiled less, but had more friends ... And now, Enlightenment! Well, just a hair's breadth away."
"You have always known, have you not, that your life was empty, pointless ... that something better beckoned, but you could not quite glimpse what it was?" asked Kracks, seeing a sudden faltering of confidence in the Russian.
"Well, yes." What was the harm in admitting this to an ox in a foreign country? "Where is Leicameister?" he dared to ask.
"Doing tapas," said Kracks succinctly, as if this explained all.
"Oh," said Dmitri, trying to memorize the word tapas so he could look it up later.
"I can see you wish to be Enlightened too ... I am seeing now ..." (The ox was staring into a point between Dmitri's eyebrows, then at a spot a few inches above his crown) "that you were my disciple in your last life ... yes ... Leicameister must work harder this time around, because he was not as devoted as you were in his last life ... he was lazier ... in your case, there is just one more thing for you to do ... you have perhaps forgotten all this, but I can see you acquired tremendous spiritual merit in your last life ... such as I have rarely seen! Let me just catch my breath, this is really startling what I see when I gaze into your past here ... yes, yes, just one more little task you were reborn to perform. Then, Enlightenment."
"Yes?"
"You must return to your country, and come back as soon as possible with enough participants to fill my next course. The cost is high ... but tell them the truth: their money blocks their spiritual progress, like a big pile of stinky garbage. I can purify that for them, in my infinite kindness, though it will cause my hoofs to crack and my horns to ache, taking on their karma like that ... but I will make the sacrifice, because I must. Ego-less, I have no say in these matters. Just bring them back here, on the double."
With that, he let out an ear-shattering bellow, which Dmitri took to mean he was dismissed to perform this duty.
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