how can he bear to stay over here?

Harilal would have dismissed the Maharshi and his words without a second thought had it not been for an experience he had immediately after the Maharshi told him to find out who this 'I' was who wanted to see God. After he spoke, the Maharshi looked at Harilal, and as he gazed into his eyes, Harilal's whole body began to tremble and shake. A thrill of nervous energy shot through his body. His nerve endings felt as if they were dancing and his hair stood on end.

Within him he became aware of the spiritual Heart. This was not the physical heart. It was, rather, the source and support of all that exists. Within the Heart he saw or felt something like a closed bud. It was very shiny and bluish. With the Maharshi looking at him, and with himself in a state of inner silence, he felt this bud open and bloom. The word bud was not an exact description. It was more like something that felt bud-like opened and bloomed within him in the Heart.

The Heart was not located in a particular place in the body. This Heart, this Heart of his Heart, was neither inside the body nor out of it. In the Maharshi's presence, under his gaze, the Heart opened and bloomed. It was an extraordinary experience, one that Harilal had never had before. He had not come looking for any kind of experience, so it totally surprised him when it happened.

Though he had had an immensely powerful experience in the presence of the Maharshi, the Maharshi's statement, 'You alone are God,' and his advice to 'find out who the seer is' did not have a strong appeal for Harilal. He still wanted to search for God outside himself.

He thought to himself, 'It is not good to be chocolate. I want to taste chocolate.' He wanted to remain separate from God so he could enjoy the bliss of union with him.

When the devotees came in that afternoon, he looked at them critically. They looked like they were just sitting there, doing nothing. Harilal thought to himself, 'No one here seems to be chanting the name of God. Not a single person has a mala to do japa with. How can they consider themselves to be good devotees?'



Then Harilal transferred his critical gaze to the Maharshi and similar thoughts arose.

'This man should be setting a good example for his followers. He is sitting silently, not giving any talks about God. He doesn't appear to be chanting the name of God himself, or focussing his attention on Him in any way. These devotees are sitting around being lazy because the Master is sitting there doing nothing. How can this man show me God when he himself shows no interest in Him?'

It was not long before Harilal had worked himself up into quite a state of disgust for those around him. He still had some time before he needed to report for work, but he did not want to waste it in the company of these lazy people. He decided to go off to a nice quiet spot on the other side of the Hill where he could do his Krishna japa, alone and undisturbed.

He stayed there for about a week. Krishna appeared frequently, and they spent a lot of time playing together.

The cubs were not really allowed to go alone all the way to the North side of the Hill, but they could not resist checking on the North Indian newcomer.

"Look! He is laughing there with Krishna," said Omcub the first time they found Harilal in a little clearing in the forest.



"What do you mean, with Krishna?" asked Tirucub.

Harilal was certainly laughing, but what was this talk of Krishna?

Omcub looked puzzled. "I ... I thought that was a sort of playing-with-Krishna laugh the Noath Indian was giving," was all he would say by way of an explanation.

"How can he bear to stay over here, away from Bhagavan?" Spotty asked.

They all looked at each other as if this question applied to them too, and without saying a word all four began racing at top speed back to Bhagavan. There was just time to leap up into his lap and have their ears stroked for a while before they needed to go back to the cave and prepare Uncle Annamalai's lunch. And then they needed to see how things were going at the hospital!