The Dilemma of GraceAnanda

Flora the goat, recently given the spiritual name of Graceananda, by her guru Swami K, who had himself changed his name to something even he couldn't remember before having his second cup of coffee, and then to Paramguru Parameshwara MiracleAnanda Maharaj (that was so much easier to remember!), was standing right behind Stripes. She only got a fleeting glimpse of Bhagavan Ramana.

There must have been a hundred animals if not more in that small clearing having Sri Bhagavan's darshan. No one noticed each other, or even themselves. Only when Stripes' tail hit Flora on her nose did she come to.
Stripes muttered 'sorry'. Luckily the cubs (such pesky devils, always turning up at the wrong time) had not noticed.
She inched back and hid in the bushes.

This was such a golden opportunity, she thought. She could bring those posters of Swami Miracleananda and paste them in this place. This way all these animals would become devotees of his, and she would get immeasurable grace. Such nice posters she had made saying "Enlightenment, only Rupees 5000". The only catch was that Swami had changed his name two times since she made them. She would have to change the name on the posters, and pray that he didn't change his name again for a few days.

Then she wound her way back to Swami K's (oops, what was his name this week?) mansion. Her mind was full of thoughts and doubts.

Swami Miracle had promised enlightenment after the 3 day program. Nothing had happened. Then he said you will get it after the high level program for which you must bring fifty attendees for this program. She had done that within a few days and now was slated for the higher program in a month.
In the meantime, Swami MiracleAnanda had declared that the young swami on the hill was not really enlightened, or about half enlightened. And that one of his own followers was more enlightened that the young swami.

The young swami told aspirants that they had to put in effort for realization, but MiracleAnanda kept saying "i will give it to you, you need do nothing!". Some money was understandably required to grease the cosmic wheels, but beyond that it was supposed to be a cakewalk.

I have gone so far, she thought. I should give it another month and see. If nothing happens I can always move over to the young swami. But the young swami lives in one old loincloth, whereas MiracleAnanda dresses like an emperor and lives in a mansion!

Still, in her heart, she felt something. Something beating for the young swami. Never had she felt anything for Swami K, er, MiracleAnanda.

She had served MiracleAnanda for quite some time, toiling day and night, asking only one wish: devotion for him, which never happened. And now surprisingly, it was devotion for this young swami that she felt. Her prayers had been heard all along, she realized, but by something higher. And here was the answer!

Two days ago she had come to this same clearing in the afternoon. She had lain down there and shut her eyes. She had taken a few deep breaths and said, "Dear God, talk with me. Guide me!". A few more deep breaths and she was asleep. And then barely had a few moments passed when her eyes opened. She felt clear and calm. It was hard to explain but a conversation had happened, and the import was very clear in her mind.
The voice had explained to her that God does not favor any one person above another. He does not give grace to one and not another. Grace goes to all, whether they ask or not. And God does not sell grace. Nor can He be bought. There are no rituals required to please Him.

Although no names were taken, but it was clear to Flora that this was the answer to her dilemma. She was quite sure that the answer was not a figment of her mind. And even if it was, it sure made better sense than what she was in currently, and what MiracleAnanda kept saying, and what she kept telling others.
The voice clarified that God needed no middlemen, no touts. It was so clear that it advised that she should steer clear of godmen.

Now, she reached the vicinity of the mansion. Immediately she felt the energy of the mansion, dark and negative. She backed out. Finally, she came back to the clearing where the animals had stood and gazed at the young swami.

She lay still for some time, then got up and gazed at the rock where the young swami had sat. She felt a deep love for him in her heart and knew that this was grace. But who would believe it, she thought, in a world where God's grace is measured by wealth and fame. She clambered up the rocks to a spot close to the cave. There he sat, He, the young swami, in nothing but a piece of cloth, but looking like a real emperor!

Flora sees Sri Bhagavan clearly

As she looked at Him, she somehow felt that for the first time in her life she was looking at herself, at the face of love, and yet at her Father. She realized as she wiped the tears from her eyes that she had truly lost herself to Him. She realized she had truly found herself at last.

Silently she fell to the ground, prostrating to the young swami, and to all of creation as well, thanking them for bringing her home.

What a rough ride it had been (she could laugh over it at last!) but worth it.