Swami Namechangeananda on tour

Meanwhile, in a distant part of India, Swami Namechangeananda had grown bored. His remaining devotees fawned over him night and day, but they were so busy praising him and writing down his new names that they had trouble rounding up interesting gifts for him. One day was much like the one before ... Namechangeananda decided he needed some excitement.

And what better excitement than a tour of the United States and certain European countries!

He wondered where to go first ... New York surely would have many thousands of people eager to see him, but he had heard people there talked with an edge and some were given to sarcasm, and that was the last thing he wanted rubbing off on his faithful devotees. Sante Fe, New Mexico might be nice, or San Rafael in California. He had Paramaprostration google the specs ... average house price, crime stats, weather ... yes, San Rafael it would be. Once Namechangeananda had settled on the place, he could not rest till he set out on his journey with his entourage.

Disappointingly, not enough people showed up at his first satsang. That night he paced around in his hotel room, chomping on items sent up by room service, and moaning that the western world was not appreciating him. Suddenly an idea came to him. Courses! He shouted at a devotee to take notes as he listed the offerings: The Spiritual Necessity of Eating A Raw Vegan Diet, Renunciation as the Path to God ... He paused. What if that drew a bunch of skinny people who worked for nonprofits? Ah! If he charged .... hmmm .... $850 for a little weekend seminar on these inspiring topics, that would filter out the impoverished do-gooders. "Ethics, Honour, and Humility," he added, but then began to fret again. The humility might offend the Westerners, specially in a town where a tiny one bedroom house went for a million dollars. He snorted and ripped at the carpeting, trying to think of something better. "Ethics, Honour, and Prosperity." There, that was it.



"Honour!!!" shouted Tirucub, when he heard of this. "Mum Lioness, isn't honour about telling the truth and stuff?"

Mum Lioness raised an eyebrow and said it was.

In case the readers of this blog are wondering how the cubs came to hear of Namechangeananda's satsangs in the West, that can be easily explained. In his entourage, there was one little bunny who the cubs had played with on the Holy Hill. Quite against his will, his father had dragged him off to follow Namechangeananda.

"Daddy, you will never realise the Self with him!" the little bunny had protested. "Just rest your ears for one second on Bhagavan's feet and you will know peace, and also you will know peace has nothing to do with grumpy fakers shouting for gifts."

"You're too young to understand the subtle points of Dharma and Bhakti," his father had snapped, smacking the little bunny's silken ears. "Now pack."

"What can I pack? You have given my few possessions to Namechangananda, and I have given my heart to Bhagavan. What is there left for me to take?"

Before they set out, though, there was one thing for the little bunny to take ... Med Rhino, fearful for the little bunny's wellbeing, gave him his iphone. "Keep it hidden at all times, and stay in touch," Med Rhino told him.

And it was on this phone that the little bunny called his dear friends on the Hill.