Searching for the missing cubs - III

Continued from this post.

Tiger Stripes tried the door. It opened ...

Krackaswami was sitting on what looked like a throne! He looked up shocked. "How did you get in? I had jinxed the door!"

You must leave! Global enlightenment is at stake!

A group of people sat around the living room with eyes closed.

Deeksha in progress. Some participants are on the cusp of enlightenment

"You must leave immediately. I have a deeksha going on. I am enlightening these devotees. You are not worthy of being here."

"Where are the cubs?" Mum Lioness demanded.
"Security!" shouted Krackaswami, without looking at them.
Flora, the little goat came running in. "You called, Lord?"
"Throw them out!" ordered Krax.

Lord, you called for Security?

They ran about searching various rooms but found nothing. Hobbler came in and began gesturing to them. They followed him to a room. It was the attic!
The cubses locked in that attic! Mum Lioness launched herself against the door but it would not budge.
She heard muffled sounds and some kicking from inside.
Stripes also tried to break down the door. "Bhagavan, please help us!" he prayed. Suddenly the lock broke. He burst in.

It was dark. He heard grunting coming from one corner. As his eyes adjusted he saw gagged and tied, a big gorilla -- Jagaswami! And next to him was Arunacub's turban!

Stripes untied Jagaswami. "Have you seen our cubs?", he asked.
Jagaswami did not reply. He was furious, wanting revenge!
Mum Lioness picked up the turban and dusted it lovingly. Jagaswami's eyes fell upon the turban. Jags immediately clutched his chest! It hurt. He felt the pain of Mum Lioness without her cubs.

Jagaswami reflecting on his life while behind bars

"Oh Lord!" he moaned. Then he turned to them and said, "I am only helping you to reduce this pain. Don't think i really care for any of you."
"Oh sure, Perish the thought." replied Mum Lioness.
Holding his chest Jags stumbled out of the attic.

Jagaswami down in the dumps

They heard loud voices from below. Krax was shouting at the devotees to return the next day for the deeksha. "We are postponing our session. This unfortunate incident has happened since you are not worthy of my grace. Your gratitude is not enough, your gifts are measly..."

Deeksha participants get up to leave, Global enlightenment averted!

Then Krax came running towards them. "You won't be able to find them", he said. "This whole place is protected with my dark magic."
"Dark Magic, my foot" said Jagaswami exploding with anger. He took the turban from Mum Lionesses hands and put it on.
"Lord Arunachala, please help!" he called out.
Suddenly, they could hear the cubses again. "We are here, Mum, Unca Stripes!"
"You broke my jinx!", shouted Krax, his face crimson with rage.
He tried hard to re-charm the mansion, but amid the shouts of Arunachala and Ramana he was powerless.
Jags led them up the stairs and stopped at a landing, and knocked on the wall. They heard a door cracking open, and four cubses burst out. They had not even seen this door earlier!

"Are you okay, cubs! You must be starved!" enquired Mum.
"Mum, Uncle Annamalai's lunch?", said one little voice urgently.
"Uncle must be starved!", said another.
"No no, we took care of that before coming", replied Mum.
"Thank God! We were so worried about his lunch."
"You mean to tell me you little chaps were sitting in there, cub-napped, and all you were worried about was Uncle Annamalai swami's lunch!" Stripes slapped his own forehead in disbelief.
Jagaswami took off the turban and put it on Arunacub carefully and said "I really don't deserve this. I don't deserve to be here at Arunachala either. I should just go rot someplace else."
"Oh, don't go away like that!" said Om-cub feeling sad for Jags.
"Before you go anywhere, do have one darshan of Bhagavan.", pleaded Arunacub.
"Yes. I should beg him to forgive me, and then leave!", Jags declared.

"Why don't we all go to the ashram!" suggested Mum Lioness. They brushed past Krax (whose ears were smoking), and Flora who was scrubbing the deeksha room.
"Bye, Fauna" called out Stripes (on purpose).
"Fiona is my sister, I am Flora!", she replied angrily.

Stripes was famished by now (what with the running they had to do). As they reached about a mile from the ashram, Stripes' nose picked up some prasad aroma. His pace increased.
They all trooped into the ashram and prostrated to Bhagavan. By some strange coincidence, the first person to be offered prasad was Stripes. He quietly pawed about three helpings.

Bhagavan was asking the little three year old child, "Has little Bo Peep found her sheep?". The child nodded her head vigorously and sat beaming in her mother's lap.

Jagaswami sat quietly in a corner his head bent and eyes looking down. Later when they got up, they noticed he had already left. Maybe he has found his peace.

Jagaswami repents at darshan

Searching for the missing cubs - II

Mum Lioness misses cubs

Poor Mum Lioness!
She was so used to having one cub biting her tail, or waging an imaginary battle with it, another chewing upon her ear, and one (thankfully!) rubbing her back. And now she was cubless!

And how were the cubs? They would be hungry, or thirsty. Deep down she knew that they would be safe, with Bhagavan as the Lord of all there is, and with His will being the destiny of all. But yet a mother's worry gnawed at her.

Meditator Tiger Stripes was (as expected) rolling on the floor in the most pitiable state. She kept telling him to have faith in Ramana, and each time she said that, it made her feel better.

They had walked around quite a bit. The cubs weren't at Uncle Annamalai Swami's nor at the mansion. C'mon Stripes, she said, let's go to Bhagavan. They both sprang up and walked down as fast as they could to the ashram (knees trembling a bit).

They sat quietly, there were many many visitors. They got a place in the rear. They prayed to Bhagavan for help. Some time later a devotee asked Bhagavan something about God removing or erasing a person's karmas. (Stripes' tamil is weak, but he catches words here and there.) Bhagavan replied with a glance at them, "If your belief in God is strong enough, then He can erase your karmas".
Mum Lioness thought, oh Lord, my belief in you has not been strong enough. Forgive me.

Then a three year child read Bhagavan a nursery rhyme about Little Bo Peep losing her sheep. One lady devotee next to Bhagavan picked up the child and answered, "If Bo Peep's belief in Bhagavan is strong, He will be able to help her in finding her sheep". The little child seemed satisfied and ran off to play outside.

Bhagavan again gave a glance in their direction, Mum Lioness and Stripes looked at one another. They prostrated to Bhagavan and left.

Outside the hall, Stripes spotted one ashram dog he often fed cocunut biscuits to. The dog wagged its tail. Stripes was not interested in games at the moment. "Later" he told the dog.

The dog was walking ahead and looking back at them and barking.
"Maybe Barky is trying to tell us something", said Mum Lioness to Stripes.
"Yeah, like: Take me for a walk!" quipped Stripes.

"Let's follow him!" said Mum Lioness to Stripes. They silently walked behind him. He walked without distraction taking a tiny path away from the hill.

"Hey, this way leads to the waterfall", said Stripes, "Yes, we never thought of that!"
After a while Stripes and Mum Lioness started quickening their steps. Barky was unable to keep pace and was panting. They could not slow down and began taking long leaps as they galloped down the path. Soon they had left Barky way behind.

They ran for about five, maybe ten minutes. At this point, the path forked into two. Stripes thought for a moment and then decided that the right fork would lead to the waterfall. They had never tried the left one. Probably a dead end. They ran on taking the right path.

Woof! Woof!

Suddenly at a bend, they heard barking. The same dog, Barky, was standing there blocking the path, barking viciously. Stripes backed out. What was wrong? Why is he stopping us, and how did he reach here?

Barky inched forward barking. They were forced to back out.
"Maybe he doesn't want us to take this route. Praps we should have taken the left path", Mum reasoned.
They turned and walked back to the fork.

As they reached the fork, they picked up the scent of Barky. Within a minute he reached the fork panting and wheezing from the ashram path. Then who was that dog who stopped them way ahead, they wondered?

Barky comes huffing and puffing

They ambled along taking the left path this time. After a few minutes Barky stopped. He looked confused. He looked here and there. There were some paths leading into bushes, perhaps not used for a long time.
"Why not just continue on the main path?" asked Stripes, a little impatiently. Then Barky starting barking.

Some monkey business goin on up there

They heard a rustle of leaves and looked around. A berry fell on Stripes head. He looked up annoyed. Hanging on a branch was Hobbler, the monkey. Hobbler smiled. Then he began pointing his finger in one direction.
"We must follow him.", said Stripes understanding finally that the animals were helping out.
They looked down. Barky was returning slowly on the path they came on.
"Thanks a lot, Barky!" they called out with gratitude.

Hobbler was shaking a branch and gesturing with urgency. He began moving from tree to tree. Stripes and Aunt Lioness followed him as best as they could. It was a thorny route, unused and full of small pebbles.


They shouted Ouch and Aah as they jogged through the route. At one point Hobbler stopped, again pointing ahead.

They broke through some bushes. Surprisingly, they had reached one side of the mansion.
"For God's sake!" exclaimed Stripes "We are not interested in the troublesome sadhus today. We have other matters!"
Mum Lioness began walking carefully around the mansion keeping herself hidden in the bushes. They were downwind so no one could detect them.

As they came around to the front she spotted Flora, the goat, cleaning up the front garbage. She looked at Med Tiger and nodded her head slowly.
Stripes said, "Something smells fishy, although I don't know how fish smell!"
Mum Lioness walked up quietly upto the little goat.
"Hello there", said Mum very softly.
The goat was startled. "Oh hello, I am surprised to see you here. Er .. you should not be here."
"So am I surprised to see you." said Mum Lioness, "I thought you were on your way home."
"Oh yes. The cubs left me home. Then I came here to so some cleaning up." She looked visibly nervous.
Mum Lioness proceeded towards the door. Flora immediately tried stopping her, "You must not go in"
"And why not?"
The goat tried blocking the door.
"Only devotees of swami may enter!"
"Oooooh!" said Stripes, "So you are a devotee! Very nice!"
"Would you mind stepping aside, Fawna."
"I'm Flora, not fauna."
"Flora, Fauna whatever, I don't care, please let us enter", replied Mum Lioness with impatience.
She tried the door. It would not budge.
They were unable to detect the smell of the cubses or Spotty.
Stripes thought he would turn into a sparrow and check out the windows. He tried saying Om three times but could not complete even one. He could not understand what was happening. His mind was stuck. He tried praying for help but he could not complete his prayer.

"Do you know where the cubs are?"
"I don't", replied the goat.
"Where exactly is your house, Flora ?"
"That way" she pointed.
"The way to the ashram?"
"No, that way." she pointed in another direction.
"Perhaps we should call the police here", suggested Stripes.
"No No, you must not," pleaded the goat "They must not disturb Bhagavan!"
"Who?"
"Bhagavan Krackaswami."
The word "Bhagavan" was the word both Mum Lioness and Stripes were trying to remember but were getting stuck at.
"BHAGAVAN!" both shouted with triumph, "RAMANA!!!"
"No, please don't take his name here!"
They again shouted Bhagavan loudly.
Suddenly they could here voices. The cubs. They could smell the cubses, too.
Stripes went and tried the door. It opened!

To be continued. See this post.

Troublesome sadhus still not giving up!

Krackiswami (Krax) was noticing a big change in Jagaswami after Jagaswami (Jags) had worn Arunacub's magic turban. He wasn't sure what to make of it, but he felt he could use it to his own advantage.

There were moments when Jags behaved kindly and considerately. And then moments when he was back to his old, megalomaniac self. Was he faking the kind behavior ? If this kind behavior continued, worse still increased, Jags could become popular around the hill, and then it would be hard to turn the tables on Jags.

Jagaswami in his nicer moments

But another thought came to him that Jags was battling some internal demons. He was confused and struggling. He was fighting the kind behavior or mood, and unable to get the better of it at times.

This could be the right time to do something. I must strike while the iron is hot! Jags is losing it. I am very clear, Krax thought. I want nothing to do with kindness or compassion. I want to establish myself as God, and amass wealth and power. I must denounce Jags as a fake. I must denounce all others as not being realized. I must declare myself as the true saviour.

Krax imagines himself with many followers

But first I need some miracles. That's the only way these silly humans will be convinced. They have always pressured saints and sages to show miracles in order to prove their statement that God exists, or that they have found Him. I must be able to show some miracles, even if they be some cheap tricks. Or at least spread rumors of miracles.

Also to protect myself I must be inaccessible. Or accessible only through some very close disciples. So i need some gullible disciples. And that, he decided, was easy as pie.

But in all this, there was one problem. One really big problem. And that was the swami on the hill. He knew that the swami was genuinely a realized sage. I cannot, of course, admit that to others. I must denounce him, with all the others sages.

MEANWHILE Jagaswami (Jags) was walking around the hill drumming up followers.
"Listen up, all of you! There has been a drought this year, and the last, and the year before that."
People began to gather, They could not recognize him due to the changed form.
"Do you want good rains?" he asked them.
They all nodded.

I can give you good rains

Jagaswami had smeared vibhuti on his forehead, worn rudrakshas (beads) around his neck, a trishul (trident) in one hand, and was posing as a sadhu. And looked very convincing.

Jags looks like an authentic spiritual leader

"God has sent me to help you", he said very solemnly, as though he had more important things to do in some other world, but was doing God a great favour by coming here.

Jags sees himself as the greatest guru of all time

They all prostrated in front of him. Some offered bananas at this feet which he shovelled into his mouth as fast as they came.

He deftly picked a gold necklace off one lady's neck as she prostrated. "Thank you! Grace to you! ", he quickly said, giving the impression to all that she had offered it.
Others, not to be outdone, quickly took off bangles and earrings and offered them.


He cleared his throat loudly and continued, "This drought is caused by the coming of the young swami on the hill. He may look kind to you, and treat you well but that is all a front. I am the real saviour."

Some of the gathering got up. Of them some left quietly and the rest came in front and fell at his feet. They told him of all their sufferings and pleaded for help.

"Ok," he said, after enjoying the adulation. "Come for darshans to my mansion on the other side of the hill. You will get grace according to how much dakshina you bring."
Some nodded in fear.

Worship me and you will get grace

"Do bring some grass for my attendant also", he said.
"And oh yes, I need one of you to come regularly and clean my mansion. Immense grace will accrue to that chosen one. The one who comes with the finest gifts and most offerings will get that privilege."
So saying he got up and marched off.

Magic Turban teaches Spotty a lesson!

"What are we doing in here?" asked Krackiswami to Jagaswami in a tone of complete disbelief, like a fish out of water, "I want to chew some cud!"
"I was wondering meself", replied Jagaswami as he looked thru the windows and saw some trees. He loped towards the window, longing to swing on branches, looked back, and said "Come along!"

The all new Krackiswami

Kracks looked at him angrily and replied, "I can't jump out of the window, silly!", and he tried getting through the door. But his horns were too large, they got jammed in the doorway. Krackiswami could not get out of the door no matter how he twisted his horns.
"Wait let me go to the kitchen and get something to hack your horns off!" said Jags.
"Oh no you don't!", shuddered Kracks.

"Maybe we should sue the cubs for this!" said Jags.
"We cant", explained Krackiswami, "The lawyer we hired to file false cases against you-know-who ... he fell ill, his business collapsed --"
"Then get another one!"
" -- he went mad later. Word went around the lawyer community very fast. Now no one will file cases against you-know-who!"
"Maybe we could distribute pamphlets defaming you-know-who saying he has many wives, and owns a large house somewhere with a swimming pool and several cars! And Swiss bank accounts!", said Jags.
"That sounds more like you!" muttered Krackiswami under his breath.
"What did you say?" asked Jags.

"Oh, i just thought instead of going on and on about you-know-who, why not go out, since you can, quickly, and try getting the magic turban back before the eagle reaches back to the cubses cave."

And so Jags, unable to turn himself into anything now, not even his original self, jumped out the window onto the tree, and swung himself from tree to tree. Aah, this was fun, he thought. Made him feel like Tarzan of the Apes. Poor Krackiswami stood uncumsaguly stuck in the doorway his neck beginning to hurt.



Then Jags saw Spotty as an eagle, resting on a tree top with the turban. It must be heavy carrying the turban, he thought. He called out, "Son, can I help you carry the turban to wherever you are going? Would be a pleasure to help out a fine lad such as you."

Your turban or your life!

The eagle (Spotty) looked down, and squinted at Jagaswami who was quite a frightening, hairy gorilla. Spotty then decided he should probably change into something stronger so he could carry the turban back, and be able to fend off the gorilla.

Barely had he thought this that he felt himself swoop down and land on the ground with the turban. He then felt himself changing into an elefink. Strangely, Arunacub had never told him the turban behaved like this. But then Arunacub never told him that turban behaved the way it did in the hands of the troublesome swamis. Maybe even Arunacub doesn't know!

As he changed into an elefink, the gorilla pounced on him. He swung his trunk around and gripped the gorilla. The gorilla was no match for him. He picked up the gorilla and hurled him high up. The gorilla went spinning up, and up and up .. and landed on a very high branch.

Satisfied, Spotty continued walking back. Then suddenly he shivered. Something was wrong! The turban was not with him! He heard a loud laugh and looked back.

Up on the tree, sat the gorilla with the turban on his head!

Aaaah, thought Spotty gently slapping himself with his own trunk, I forgot for a moment that the gorilla too is the Self. In that one moment, i forgot that all are the Self, and so treated him as something separate. And so the turban taught me a lesson.

Hi there Flappy, Have you seen a magical turban?

I should have thought of you, O Loving Lord, Spotty thought. You would have guided me. Instead i let anger and hatred get the better of me. And in such thoughts I distanced myself from you.

What face will I show Arunacub when he lorns that i lost the turban! He will feel let down, I must get it back, Bhagavan! And so saying, with tears streaming down his face, he ran towards the ashram, stopping only once to change back into the real (leopard) Spotty.

O dear me! Such a shame!

He prostrated a little distance away from Bhagavan and sat down behind the crowd of devotees, hiding his face in shame, and praying to Bhagavan for help. (Continued in next post)

Scheming Swamis

The German Mansion taken over by the swamis

The satsangs were going a bit slow. Very little money was coming in. Participants were unhappy with the results.

Lone participant in Eternal Bliss Program

More time was being spent in trying to decide how to capture Spotty. During such times, the mansion windows would be closed so no sounds could go out. The idiot-box in the next room would be switched on. And often Bala'swami would be posted as a lookout.

Balanandaswami posted as lookout

But what to lookout for, when Spotty could appear as whatever he wanted (even a tiny insect he reasoned), and the three cubs could appear anywhere at will.

They could be sitting on any side of the mansion, or have materialized behind the cupboard as bacteria, for all he knew.

He had the option of leaving the two swamis, but he foast needed to lorn the changing charm from Spotty, and the materializing charm from the other cubs.

Wait, he had an idea. He strode over to Jags and Kracks, and shook them awake. I have a brilliant idea. "Getting us caught? Or badly hurt?" asked Jags sarcastically.

"If you turn me into a leopard cub, I could go over to Spotty's and make friends with him, and learn their tricks."

(He did not relish the idea much since Jags's (Dark magic) charm was not a very predictable one. Sometimes the effect took ages to wear off, sometimes it wore off sooner than desired. Often it was accompanied by splitting headaches or dizziness. And it never felt good.)

"Look here, silly", said Jags, "We don't want you to go there and lorn any tricks. We want you to bring that spotted chap back. I could torn you into a large leopard. You could befriend that leopard cub and bring him back forcibly, so we can get all his tricks out. And with him in our grasp, we can get all of them to leave this hill forever.

"But forst you must observe them and lorn some more about them so this plan can succeed. What is their schedule like, and when is Spotty by himself? When are Mum Lioness and Stripes busy, or away, etc etc?"

Jags had told him to spy on the cubs from a distance. One the forst day, on his way down he got bitten by some hornets.

Bala'swami: Oooh, i see something.

Another day he was watching the two caves for an hour and a snake began slithering up the tree. Or a group of monkeys began fighting nearby bringing the entire Lion family out.

Finally after several days he saw Spotty go near a rock and then suddenly vanish! Later Spotty came running out with the cubs from the other cave! He then heard them talk about "a secret passageway" and to use it at night to meet them.

Spotty vanishes behind a rock suddenly

Aah, he thought, if i can locate that passageway, i can wait there and catch Spotty when he comes!

Troublesome swamis don't give up easily

1 sheep, 2 sheep, 3 sheep, ...

Tiger Stripes was trying hard to sleep. But just as sleep would come, something would distorb him. He was seeing the most rediclious images. Of animals jumping over him. "Haha, this is a vegetarian tiger!" they were shouting with glee. And stomping all over him.

He's totally safe, I promise you. Trained him myself!

"He believes in non-violence" another said, and came running from a distance and jumped onto him. They all guffawed loudly.

Isn't he adorable? I call him Kitty

He was reaching his wits end and about to spank one animal with his tail when he saw Spotty surrounded by dragons. He awoke with a start.

Dragon dream

Luckily it was all a dream, but where was Spotty? He eyed the lion cave. Mum Lioness was teaching the cubs Loopholes in the General Theory of Relativity (compulsory study for precocious tiny-tots in Tamil Nadu), and Spotty wasn't with them.

Cubs being prepared to rule jungle

The dragons reminded him of the trubblesum swamis. He sprinted towards the mansion where Spotty had spotted them. Om noticed him running off, was about to mention it to Mum, but then went on with the lessons. I'll tell her when there's a prasad break, he thought.

Stripes roared loudly as he approached the mansion. There he saw the three swamis staring up a tree shouting "Come down Spotty, nice and easy, or else...."

I am coming up to get ya

Almost there.

They all torned and looked at Stripes as he broke through a bush. "Stop where you are, we warn you, or we will torn you into something horrible", Jagaswami shouted.

You don't want to mess with us, little chap

Stripes stopped and looked up. There was no Spotty to be seen. He could make out a little blue-bird atop the tree, looking frightened.
---
Meanwhile, before the prasad break could come, Mum Lioness called for a surprise hug-break. From somewhere the sudden urge to hug her little ones arose in her. As she pulled them close to her, Om said, Mum Lioness, i just saw Unca Stripes making a dash in that direction.

In what direction, she enquired.
That direction, Om replied as though it was quite obvious.

Now you three sit in the cave while I check out, she said. Is that quite clear? Mum said.
All three nodded. Surprising there were no protests from the cubs. She immediately leapt over the bush, and sprinted off for the mansion.
Inside the cave, Arunacub chanted "Om Om Om! Take us to Spotty". And instantly there they were in front of the mansion.



---
As this was happening, Jagaswami realized it was difficult for him to torn Spotty into something with Stripes about to attack. He had to delay Stripes in some way. He tried his old trick, shouting "Incendio". Immediately, a fire pot materialized in front of him.

At this very moment the three cubs materialized next to Stripes. Stripes torned to look at them. Jags took this opportunity to topple the firepot on Stripes. Stripes was unaware, distracted by the sudden entry of Om, Aruna and Tiru.

Spotty silently called out Om thrice visualizing himself as a large bird with big talons holding the firepot. Instantly he became an eagle and swooped down catching the falling firepot.

Spotty (as eagle) brings down swamis

As he swooped down, the swamis startled by the sudden change, lost their balance and fell over Jags.

Krackaswami runs for life

I think I've broken some bones

All three now lay in a crumpled heap, trying to disentangle themselves but poking each other in doing so.

The firepot was hot, Spotty couldn't hold it long enough. It slipped, landed a few feet from Stripes, and was still burning.

Realizing that Spotty had a little burn on his cheek, Om immediately came over and gave him a little kiss. "There, heal quick!" he said. Spotty thought he heard Om say "Change into me, quick" and immediately thought "Let me be Om!"

Aaaah, I'll get you for this!

The three swamis by now had managed to get up without poking each other further (although Jags did call Balanandaswami quite a few uncomplimentary names). Bala told him "One of those two identical ones is Spotty!"
"Which one?" thundered Jags "Find out fast, or I shall torn you into a ... into a ..."

At this moment, Mum Lioness reached the scene. First of all she was taken aback to see the cubs here. They should have been safely in the cave. Then she saw two Oms and got confused. She looked around to appraise the sityashun, and it sortanly did not look good. Three large overweight swamis on one side. Four little cubs facing them and one tiger trying to hold the swamis at bay.

Her little cubses were in danger. She sprang from the boulder she was on, and landed near them. All were surprised. The swamis stepped back trembling.
"Don't ever come near my cubses", she roared.

"Oh, we were only inviting them in for a tasty treat." said Jags glibly.
"I only wanted to shower them with my grace", said Krackaswami loftily.
"My Dark Lord has some german cookies for the sweet lads", added Bala.

"I am unrivalled in magic", said Jags. "What your cubs know is trifling compared to my legendary abilities. I could teach your cubs real magic."

Mum Lioness took one step forward, and the three swamis backed off terrified.

"If greatness is what you want, let your cubs serve me. I will make them great gurus!" Mum Lioness glared at him. Perhaps he should try something else.

"I could give you a free copy of my autobiography, signed by me! Spotty would love that." Jags said picking up courage. "He would love reading about my exploits."
"Shall I run up and fetch a copy, Master", asked Bala, seizing this opportunity to disappear.
"You won't know where to find it. I have locked them so they dont get stolen!" he called after Bala, and ran towards the mansion.

Krackaswami finding himself alone in front of a Mother lioness and a large tiger who looked quite annoyed at being woken up from an afternoon nap, smiled and said "I .. I'll get those c-c-cookies!" and slunk away, tail between his legs.

Mum Lioness let out a laugh, and the cubs joined in.
She looked at the two Oms, sniffed them both and said "Now which one of you is which?"
Om and Spotty smiled but kept mum. "Ok!" Mum Lioness said, "I don't wanna know!"

Om: Hey, which one of us is you and which is me?

Three pairs of eyes watched them carefully as they walked out of sight, and back to the ashram to have an evening darshan of Bhagavan and perhaps a reading of a letter Suri Nagamma had written lately.

Jagaswami pulls out trump card

The scene was heart-rending. People were leaving town carrying with them all they had due to the lice epidemic. Those who wished to stay back and surrender the future to Arunachala were being separated from those of weaker faith. It was, some might say, a test of faith.

Exodus during lice plague

Families were huddled together, trying to comfort one another in this moment of distress.

Distraught populace comforting each other

Our normally chirpy cub reporter had tears in his eyes seeing the suffering of others.



And then suddenly a voice boomed out of the wails and cries of separation.

Lissenup all ye people. Give ear, all ye inhabitants of the world. I can save you from this scourge. Only I can.

Jagaswami (aka Jags) begins his historic Tiruvannamalai Address

There was a hush in the crowd. People looked to see where the voice was coming from.

However (pausing for effect) ... I need you to have complete faith in me.
After a longish pause (as is the style with indian politicians) he continued:

You all must accept me to be God, the final and ultimate. Not a messenger, not a messiah, but God Himself.

One lickle voice was heard saying, "Mum, whats a messaayaa?". "Shhh!" other voices nearby quietened the child.

I ask you for nothing. I want nothing from you.
But of course if you want my grace in plenty, and you want to be liberated from lice, then you must hand over all you have to me, or my able sidek .. er .. assistants, next to me.

Immediately, two other cunning looking sadhus appeared, as if from nowhere.

Lieutenant (or sidekick?) Krackiswami

This money of coas is only for the upliftment of the poor. (His eyes at this point looked down, unable to make contact with the people).

And i must ask one more thing. (again a long pause to create suspense). A small thing which I am sure you will be only too happy to hand over.

I am told by many that there are some troublesome people on the hill who have been exploiting all of you.

Everyone had a puzzled look on their faces.

Ye all know who i speak of.

Everyone looked at one another with blank faces.

I ask you to hand over the three lion cubs, and Spotty and Stripes and Mother Lioness. The condition of coas is that they leave the hill forever, for your good.

The crowd was speechless.

A lickle voice was heard saying "They want Aunt Lioness to go? But they are the nicest people here."

Voices of protest were heard.

This is for your own good. Otherwise you can all perish from this scourge, go bald, spend your entire lives scratching yourself, or whatever.

Jagaswami starts cursing the people of the town

Leaving here will not help, the scourge will spread and all living beings will be affected. Lice will take over the earth !

The lice have come from Mars to take over the earth!

Now lissen up ye people. It seems you do not know what is for your own good. This is becos the lice are controlling your mind. Let me decide for you. Let me set up a government. I shall be your ruler. You must bring more and more land under me, and wealth, and followers, till I am the ruler of the whole earth.

The more you bring, the more grace you will get. All this I do only because I love you (saying this he wiped his dry eyes a bit).

The crowd was silent. A tiny voice was heard saying "Mother, Who is this nutcase?"

Who is this comedian and where has he escaped from?

She was heard replying "Shh son, he says he is God and will save us".
"Who will save us from him?" the little voice asked.
"SSSHHH" she replied, swatting him lightly.

Dunno genius boy, but he sortanly needs to lock hisself up fast before he horts hisself

OK, I shall show you a miracle. (Everyone perked up at this).
I want one volunteer. (Immediately someone from behind him, looking just like balanandaswami, praps his bwuther, stood up).

I shall free him of lice! (there was excitement in the crowd).

Now i shall bless him. Abracadabra! Squiggly wiggly! Licey Vicey!

Volunteer magically cured!

The volunteer shouted "I am cured! I am cured! It's a miracle." and he knelt down at Jagaswami's feet weeping profusely.

See I told you. Now you must hand over the lion family and the tiger family who live on the hill.

A lickle voice in the back was heard "If he says he is God, why can't he take them hisself. Why does he need us?"

I give you 24 hours to hand them over. Also you must hand over all your belongings to us within the next few days. That is if you wish to be saved by me. I now have more pressing things to attend to. As you leave, you may hand over whatever you came with to Balanandaswami and Krackaswami. Those who wish to serve me, can also leave your names with them. You will have to sign some waivers also.

Suddenly a hand was raised. "My Lord! My Lord! I have a qweschun!"

There was pin-drop silence in the crowd. "What is it, brainless creature ?"

"Sir, recently I saw a young dark brahmin on the hill. A very peaceful looking boy. He was sitting with eyes closed. ... On impulse, we did namaskaaram to the boy. And we were immediately cured of lice and other problems too!"

"Oh him. that little boy, he is one of my devotees. If you do namaskaram to him, it is like doing namaskaram to me. It is my grace that you got through him. Feel free to do namaskaram to him, but remember to send ME your money as dakshina."

See, he gave all he had to me, and now how peaceful he is!

Suddenly another voice was heard "That is our Brahman Swamy he speaks of. No follower of this man."
And another "Yes. He is insulting the young Swami on the hill. How dare he!"
"He is an impostor!"

A commotion resulted. Bala and Krackiswami suddenly were not to be seen. Jagaswami was all alone, in the middle of a crowd getting unruly and angry by the moment.

Then suddenly he shouted. If you don't follow me I will curse you all. Right now.

Again there was silence. I will curse you with ticks and slugs, and leeches, and e-coli and avian bird flu and lots more.

"Curse us. lets see!"

"I really will, don't dare me."

"We dare you."

"OK here goes .... Abracadabra! Jiggery Pokery!"

Nothing happened.

Jagaswami (aka Jags) cursing

He shouted "Sluggy Wuggy!". Still nothing. "Leechy weechy!"

There was a giggle, then laughter rent the air. Luckily there were no rotten eggs and tomotoes nearby otherwise things could have gotten messy.

Jagaswami, with tail between legs, scrambled away as fast as he could. He shouted "Wormy Germy!", "Watery Poo" and other curses as he receded into the distance.

It is hoped that we shall not see them for a while.

This is cub reporter signing off. Same blog, same time, tomorrow.