Animals getting out of hand

Mum Lioness was having a tough time. She used to think the cubs were naughty! But after watching the two hippo babies (whose names she would always get wrong), she decided the Lord had been quite kind with her after all!
The first time she met them, Rumple and Crumple, she had thought, oh what cute little darlings!, but now her views had changed quite drastically. The names were so decieving!


For one she could not discipline Crumple and Rumple by picking them up by their necks, or even swatting them with her tail. She wondered how Mama Hippolyta pulled them up. Then she realized she didn't.
Rumple and Crumple would roll in the mud (they spent quite some time cooling off in the puddles) and then come in and roll on her couch and furniture. Rumple drank quite a bit of water, and then could not hold it! If she made mango lassi, he would be first in line, and finish it all off, leaving all the others empty-cupped.

Rumple and Crumple wrestled quite a bit. Mama Hippolyta said it was part of their growing. Now Mum Lioness knew that quite well, but two hippos wrestling in her house meant quite a lot of breakage.

Then there were the monkey babies who were always getting in her hair. Someone kept tripping over the tortoise, and the two skunks were always setting off the fire detector. That was perhaps the worst. Two skunks competing to see whose stink could set off the detector first!

She had expected help from Unca Stripes at first. Stripes had willingly helped lick all the dishes clean on day one. But Stripes really could not be bothered by what was happening in his own cave or Mum Lioness'es cave. He behaved like the epitome of renunciation. As though nothing mattered. As though the Lord would take care of it all. "Let Him who created this world ... (meaning of course Bhagavan Ramana) ... take care of it!", he would declare grandly everytime Mum Lioness would suggest work or cleaning up.

And so everytime Rumple sat on a chair, Mum Lioness would have to repair it.

But what could she say? These were all displaced animals. No home. They had lost everything. And she knew deep in her heart, that Arunachala had sent them to her.

And then she had expected the Animal Hopsibal plans to be forgotten in a few hours. But little Spotty leaked them to all the animals saying the Hopsibal was almost ready. So now Tiru had to work full steam to get the plans complete! The most difficult part of course was the Frothy Chocolate Milk Dispenser which should have unlimited supplies round the clock and the Magic Idli Machine (this name was a Spotty invention). Tiru had no idea what a Magic Idli Machine was but now he had to design one, and everyone was waiting to see what it would be like.

That evening Stripes brought some good news. He had met with Unca Krish of the Forest Department. Some animals could be moved back to the hill, he said. Before Mum Lioness could heave a sigh of relief, he added that the hippos would be here for a while. And the skunks. And the monkeys. Mum didn't have the heart to ask, so who is actually moving?

Unca Krishnamurthy was asking when the animal hopspibel will be ready, Spotty informed Mum Lioness.

Animal Hospital and Ramana Temple of Awareness

It wasn't that the animals were keen on going to an animal hospital. When Mum Lioness suggested with feigned sternness that the hippos and other "injured" animals could be taken to a vet nearby for tetanus shots, and kept on a drip all day, they all shrunk back, some disappearing into the bushes outside.

But when they had heard that the hospital had a free chocolate milk dispenser, and the chocolate used was their favorite Midnite Moo, and that one could also have as many idlis with chutney, free of cost, round the clock, as one wanted, then they simply could not resist. There was only one catch, Spotty has explained. In order to have free milk shakes and icecream sundaes ("what? sundaes too!", they shouted) and idlis, you have to be under fifteen years.
Most of the kids were under ten, some even under five, so that was a non-issue.
The milk, Spotty has explained, will be the best, milk from the ashram cows. Not the diluted milk you get elsewhere. Milk given by cows that have been blessed by Bhagavan.
So the milk will give you more energy and get you well instantly, said Spotty.


No bitter medicines?, a tortoise had asked, remembering the anti-malarial tablets he had had 6 months ago.
No injections?, a stork had asked, remembering the yellow-fever injection they had had before their african safari last year.
No lying in bed for a week eating boiled food?, Rumple and Crumple (the hippoes) asked together.
And Mum Lioness comes once a day to the hopsible to deliver berry shakes and mango lassi and vegetable pizza to all the well-behaved animals.

One day we will be living on chocomilk instead of this yucky mud water

There were now serious concerns about what "well-behaved" meant. Did it mean sitting quietly all day, not running around, not painting the walls, not playing hide 'n seek, not fighting with one's brudders.

Spotty realized that suddenly the hopsibal may not seem such a big attraction to the animals. He had spoken without thinking!
Then he remembered brudder Tiru and spoke. No, No, this is a nice hopsible, not like some strict school! You can draw on walls, play all you want, even break the occassional window. But you must not harm the trees, or break flowers or leaves. Or trample the plants in the garden.

The animals looked as though they might be able to manage that with some effort, it was not out of question, considering what they were getting in return.
"Tiru cub will turn you out immediately if any trees or plants are harmed!", said Spotty looking like a school headmaster.

Spotty asplaining the grand plan to the animal kids

"And sometimes ...", said Spotty getting up to leave, "if the patients help in keeping the hopsibal clean, Mum Lioness comes over with a chocolate cake with a 6 inch thick chocolate icing! Now excuse me, i have work to do!"

AT THE MANSION, Swami K, recently renamed Swami MiracleAnanda and now BlissAnanda, was having a very upset stomach since last night. He had not been able to get off the you-know-what all night. And to make matters worse the whole plumbing system had clogged up, and they could not call the plumbers because they had illegally taken over this mansion while the previous occupants had gone on vacation.

You guys are a pathetic bunch of whining losers! Get out of my sight!

He blamed all this is on bad karma of Tamil Nadu. "This state does not deserve me!" he declared to his principal attendant, recently awarded the spiritual name Ahankara.
"I promise I shall leave Tamil Nadu", he threatened his attendants.
The attendants begged him not to leave. One European attendant, named LivinginJoyAnanda, suggested, "O Lord! Why don't you fix the toilet using your powers, you are God after all!"
Swami Blissananda was so furious he turned LivinginJoyananda out of the mansion and told him never to return.

"Until now I have been suffering setback after setback. This is all due to the bad karma of this state! I shall go to Andhra Pradesh or Karnataka one day, you wait and see!", he bellowed.

If i start walking now, I might get there by the time the temple is built

BACK IN THE CAVES, Spotty had leaked out that the temple that Om baby was building would be giving out Krishna Crunch to all who came. No one knew what Krishna Crunch was but the way Spotty smacked his lips as he took that name, they knew it would be the most delicious treat they had ever had. All clamoured to go to the Ramana Temple of Awareness that Omcub was building.

BUT the one good thing that Spotty did do that day was to teach all the children the first verse of Aksharamanamalai.

O Arunachala! You root out the ego in those who meditate on Thee in the Heart!

They loved it. And Spotty promised to teach them the second one the next day. (This was a surprise for Mum Lioness!)

"I need to go to the hopsibul, Mother"

Tirucub spent long hours working further on the plans for the hospital. Sometimes Spotty and Omcub and Arunacub would come over and check on his progress and make suggestions.



Mother Hippo was finding she had her hands quite full. First Crumple fell down (on purpose) and said he could not possibly get up. He needed to be taken on a stretcher to the new hospibul!



Then Rumple fell down too, and said they would need twin stretchers. From somewhere, he had heard that the hopsibul served chocolate milk and other things to tempt weakened creatures who had lost their appetites. "I am weak! I need to go to the hopsibul and have chocolate milk every day till I get my strength back!" he cried.



A peacock came by and informed the hippos that it was really a bird hopsibul and they should not get their hopes up.

Not too far away, some giraffes were talking. "Imagine! He is designing the hopsibul tall enough to fit us!"



"Oh no," two skunks told them. "We have it from the highest authority ... er, not quite the highest ... that the ceilings are very low ... it is only meant for small creatures. Like, well, skunks."

Meanwhile, over at the mansion, Dmitri (whom Swami Miracleananda had sent back to Russia to drum up devotees) had finally arrived back with a little troupe of Russians.

There was confusion right from the start.

"Krackaswami!' they had greeted him at the door. "At your feet we rain salutations and protestations ... prostrations!"

"I am not Krackaswami!"

"Oh! Dmirtri is telling us a Krackaswami full of grace is here to exit us from sufferings in our cardiac regions."

At this point, poor Dmitri, who had gone way out on a limb, urging his very own bother and his sister-in-law and his uncle and aunt, and two of his co-workers to liquify their assets and get on an airplane, piped up. "Krackaswami, please! You asked me to bring participants to you for your great work! Please, this is no time to play humble underdog and crunge out of sight!"

"The word is CRINGE, and I have never cringed or crunged in my life," bellowed Swami Miracleananda. "I have a new and better name. I will reveal it to you when I see if the donations are enough to loosen my sacred tongue. Egoless, I have no control over my own mouth ... er, over what WOULD have been my mouth, had I not been born enlightened ... but is really the mouth of the divine."

"Fine, fine, dear Holiness," said Dmitri.

"Perhaps Papa was right," said Dmitri's brother in worried tones. (Their father had been adament that Dmitri had been put under some extreme form of mind control on his trip, and that no one name Krackaswami, proposing a trade of money for enlightenment, could possibly be legitimate. "Is business deal, son! When money changes hands, is BUSINESS DEAL! I may not have university degrees like you, but I know a business transaction when I see one. Do not go back, and leave your little brother out of this nonsense!"

"Come in, then," said Swami Miracleananda. He led them up to the attic.



"First, there is something we need, and one of you must get it. It is a little book called Have Love For All Creatures. It is probably over in the cave of some lions ... go and get it, and do not get caught."

"Can't I dash into Tiruvannamalai and pick it up for you?" asked Dmitri. "Wouldn't someone there have it? Must we venture into a lion's den?'

"The Way of Bliss is not for the faint-hearted! Of COURSE you must get it from a lion's den and not from some little bookshop or tea stall or whatever you are thinking. Have you not heard? The Divine TESTS you to see if you are ready. So let us see if you are."

Spotty causes further confusion

If what he had done by day was not enough, Spotty was trying to do one better by night!

Mum Lioness was making dinner for two hundred guests. The cubs were helping out with leaves, and garnishing and clearing the dining space.

Spotty was in the other cave telling the guests and displaced residents stories.


The Raos from Madurai wanted to know how Tiru swami had acquired his name.
Instead of saying that Mum Lioness is the best person to tell you, he straightened his collar and started.
"Tiru swami was named after the holy city of Tiruvannamalai.". He then paused, pondered and said, "Or was it the other way round?"
This chance remark led to centuries of debate and many hundred doctoral theses. Centuries later some scholars dated Tiru swami's birth as 5000 BC to account for the hill being named after him!
The animals knew that the six-month cub could not be telling a lie. But it never occurred to them that he could have his facts wrong.

What about Om cub?
Om was named after the great Sadhu Om, said Spotty. And the most instrading part is .. (he paused here for effect) .. that Mum Lioness did not name him. (Another long unbearable pause. He was now down to a hushed whisper). "He named himself!"
"And he started writing poems from the day he was born!", continued Spotty, now on a roll.
Spotty had this knack, or gift, or bad habit of starting by telling the truth, and then continuing on his own from there. One did not know where facts stopped and his imagination began. And he believed whatever stories he spun.

What about Arunacub, they asked?
Is he named after Arunachala Hill, one asked.
Or is Arunachala Hill named after him, a child asked.
Oh no! said Spotty, this is a complicated case!
He took a deep breath.
Arunacub is actually named after Sadhu Arunachala.
Who is that, the animals asked.
Sadhu Arunachala is a devotee of Bhagavan who has not yet come here. He will come here in about 1935, after travelling around the world.
Will he travel by dragon? one kid asked.
Finally he will reach Bhagavan's feet and serve Bhagavan all his life. He will take on the name Sadhu Arunachala. Aruna cub has been named in his memory. He will be a great friend of the young Annamalai Swami who brought mangoes the other day for Tiruswami.

"Om cubbie wrote a poem the day he was born, and signed it Sadhu Om" - Spotty

How do you know so much, the animals asked.
Spotty answered impatiently, I have important work to do now. I must be off.
And so saying he bounded to the other cave.
"Where have you been little Spotty?" Mum Lioness enquired. "I have been waiting for you! I have an important task for you. Taste the sambaar and tell me if its up to the mark."

"Oh, I am dog-tired!", Spotty complained. "I have been taking care of all the guests!"

Pandemonium in Tiruvannamalai !

Word had gone around to the other cave (Stripes's cave, in which all the displaced animals were housed) that someone had written a book named Have Love for All Creatures. All the children were demanding a copy of the book from their mothers. Fathers were going to town looking desperately for the book, but no one in town had heard of it. The search had spread to Madras.
One mother was telling her baby monkey that they had just bought the latest Harry Potter book last month, and the no new books for another two months.

AT THE MANSION, Swami Miracleananda was hollering at his Biography Team, that such a big hype had never been created for books on his life and his miracles. "Miracles of Swami MiracleAnanda" had had paltry sales. "Miraculous Me" had not sold a single copy. The publisher was rumored to be shutting shop.

LATER in the day, another rumor spread to the other cave. Animals were getting excited about an Animal Hopsibal being built nearby. Mum Lioness immediately understood who was spreading the news to the other cave! They were saying that Tirucub was designing the cave and Sri Annamalai Swami would help construct it. Someone added that Bhagavan would lay the first brick. The story kept growing each time it was told.
The hippos said there would be a special section for hippos. Then the giraffes insisted that Tirucub had designed a tall section for them.
Animals began trooping down to show each other where they were absolutely sure the hopsibal would be contructed.

Word went around Tiruvannamalai, and all were very happy at this development. People who had come to wish Tiru on his birthday took this news back with them, and so word about this hopsibal spread to Kerala, Karnataka, Andhra Pradesh and even Maharashtra.

AT THE MANSION, Swami MiracleAnanda Maharaj was fuming at the Golden Temple Team. All news of the temple of gold had been received negatively in Tiruvannamalai. The officials had disallowed construction on the hill! He had tempted them with the idea of a Golden City and even tried to give them all expensive gifts, but to no avail. And now I hear that this Animal Hospital is being welcomed by all people !, he screamed, almost falling off his hammock.

LATER in the day, when Mum Lioness was a little busy, naughty Spotty snuck over to the other cave and read out Om cubs poems to them. Om cub had written a poem in which he promised to build a Temple of Awareness, and it would be filled with Ramana pictures and books, and meditator creatures. All animals would be welcome there. Special care would be taken for giraffes and elefinks, rhinos and hippos. The animals were thrilled to hear about this. They all demanded to know when it would be complete. The baby animals kept asking every half hour, "Daddy, is it ready yet?"
People in the town wanted to know what they could do to get the temple built as fast as possible.

AT THE MANSION, Swami MiracleAnanda was tearing his beard apart. Old devotees were questioning his miracles. People in town were being warned to stay away from him! While a three-year old cub was designing a Temple of Awareness that people could not wait for! And what pained him the most was that the temple would have pictures not of himself dressed in shimmering silk laced with gold, but of that poor swami who lived in a cave and often begged for food.

He called his bedraggled devotees into the lawn in front of the mansion. This is our first Lawn Darshan, he announced. I cannot give you miracles since your karmas are not good enough for them. Therefore I have decided to change my name.
Everyone waited expectantly. The only enjoyable part of staying with Swami Miracleananda was the excitement of his frequent name changing. Everyone held their breath.
But first Swami MiracleAnanda told them that due their insignificant donations and devotion, the movement to liberate the earth was slowing down. It is you all, on whom global enlightenment depends! You have failed mankind! My books are not selling, and you human beings won't let me create a temple in my own name! Even you all do not believe truly that I am God.
After about one hour of this haranguing, just when all the devotees felt as lowly as slugs, as insignificant as bedbugs, he lifted his head and announced. As Lord of the Universe, I now change my name again, in order to better your lot. I shall henceforth be known as Jagadguru BlissAnanda.
Whoever thinks of me shall be eternally in bliss. Also whoever donates to me shall have grace for many, many, sixty-four to be precise, generations.

He then called upon his two richest devotees. One of them had just donated one million dollars to BlissAnanda. From now on, these two are my right and left hands.

The meeting went on like this. To make the devotees happy, spiritual names were given out. Mantras were also given to a few which made them even happier. The rest would be initiated into a mantra when they had proved their devotion through service and donation.

AT THE CAVES, MUM LIONESS was struggling to contain the sityashun. She had no idea how out of hand it had gone. She tried to tell everyone that Tiru had only made a plan. A lot of work had to go in, along with approvals and permissions and sanctions. She tried to explain that Om baby would build his temple when he grew a little older, and that meant a bunch of years.

One hippo baby cried that he had scratched himself and need to go to the hopsibal right now. All the others looked themselves over for nicks and scratches and began crying too.

Mum Lioness was about to give up, maybe even faint, when in burst Spotty.
He shouted, "Bhagavan is going for pradakshina! Who wants to come along?"

Before Mum could say Jackrabbit backwards, or even forwards, the cave had cleared of all animals. After the dust had settled, she could not help thank Spotty for saving the day.


The cubs had a bath, hopped onto her shoulders, and they all joined the long line of devotees doing pradakshina with Bhagavan.

Tirucub's idea

For Tirucub's birthday, Arunacub wrote a book called Have Love For All Creatures. Tirucub was deeply touched that his brother had taken so much trouble to write the book, and he loved it so much that he read it through several times.

As he was reading it for the third time, an idea came to him. He went off alone and thought about it for a long time, and then he found a pencil and paper and began to draw up plans.

Then he went to Mum Lioness.



"Mum Lioness, I would like to build a hospital for creatures who need medical care," he said.

Mum Lioness listened.

"Please! Think of the creatures who could be helped!" And he threw himself at her, thinking a hug might push her over the edge and make her agree.



"But ... what exactly do you know about building?" she said, finally.

"I could ask Annamalai Swami to help!"

"But think of the damage caused by that those bulldozers and backhoes just starting to clear for that temple ..."

"I HAVE thought about it. I would first transplant every blade of grass, and gently move every plant to a new place where it could fit in, and find a new home for every animal or bug. And the hospital would not have to be right on Arunachala ... it could be just a little distance away, but close enough for any creature to be easily taken there."

Oh, I see ... you HAVE thought all about this."

"Yes! Want to see the plans?" And Tirucub bounded into the cave and came back with some sketches.



Everyone examined the plans with great interest, but no matter how hard Tirucub pressed, he could not get a firm yes from his mother.

"It is not up to me," she kept saying. "We will have to wait and see ..."

"See what, exactly?"

At that point Mum Lioness just looked into the distance, as if listening.

Late comers

It was early afternoon. Mum Lioness was tired after having fed rice and sambar to a large number of people. Tiru swami had taught all the animals residing with them how to make plates out of leaves that had fallen on the ground. Do NOT break any leaves, he had insisted. So luckily there was no marathon plate-washing that had to be done.

Just as she was thinking of closing her eyes for a few minutes, she heard a knock on the door. She peeped out and had a big surprise!


Uncle Hobbler had brought his entire family with him. They sat on a rock and sang "Happy Birthday, dear Tiruswami". Tiru swami could not remember a better birthday.

Barely had a few minutes passed, when someone came walking up the path. The cubs could not believe their eyeses! One of their dearest friends, Lakshmi had arrived.


"O Mother!", said Mum Lioness to Lakshmi, tears filling her eyes, "Thank you for blessing us with your presence!"

Then there was a rustling in the bushes. Mum Lioness turned.


It was Valli the deer, carrying some flowers in mouth. Tiru, I just picked them up fresh, off the ground. I promise I did not break them off!
Tiru smiled. Everyone knew the cubs were very particular that trees and plants should not be harmed.

Mum let them play a while and then got them a cup of hot milk each.

Barely had she settled down when she heard another knock. She came out running wondering what surprise awaited her. But there was no one.
Again she heard a knock and came out, but no one. Then she stood quietly by the door. She heard a rustle in the hedge nearby.
She came out and inspected the hedge. Hidden inside it, frightened, was Flora the goat!
What do you want, GraceAnanda?, Mum Lioness asked.
I wanted to meet the cubses, please. I need their help.
Oh you do? Like cub-napping them again?

She turned to call the cubs, and then noticed parked in the parking area was a dragon-cart. O, this must belong to the Dandapanis from Dindigul. Such a nice family, and cute infant with a runny nose. She smiled. Stripes could never stand one thing about human children: their runny noses. He would thank God that lion (and leopard) cubses didn't have runny noses. As she said the word Dindigul in her mind, a rush of peace and love filled her.
All names related to Bhagavan's life, especially His childhood filled her with this indescribable feeling: Madurai, Villupuram, Tindivanam, Dindigul ...

The dragon was quietly chewing on some hay. Behind it was a family sized cart. Well-off people in these parts used a dragon-cart for commuting instead of the slower bullock-cart.

As she called out to the cubses, they came darting out. They stopped in front of Flora. "I had this dream, Tiru swami."
"In which you cub-napped me?", laughed Tiru.
No, she nervously laughed.
"I now belong to Bhagavan.", she said shyly.
"I can see that in your eyeses", replied Tiru.
The cubs agreed. One felt that she always did have love-eyes. Another felt that only now she did. But there was no doubt that she had surrendered completely to Bhagavan.
"In reality, I always belonged to Bhagavan. i guess, er ... I just did not know!", Flora said. "Does that make any sense?"
Oh sure it does, said Mum Lioness picking up Flora and bringing her in. "Let me get you some warm milk with honey!"

Flora confided in the cubs that she had left "you-know-who Maharaja". She didn't know whether they would come after her and harm her or what. Should I go away from here?
And do tell Mum Lioness that I am Flora once again and not that silly name.
They all laughed.
The cubs suggested that she trust Bhagavan totally on this, no harm would come to her.
"I totally believe that", she said. "But I wanted to hear that from you."

They took her to their altar, where Bhagavan's photographs stood. That's Sri Muruganar, pointed out Om. And that's Bhagavan with Lakshmi, said Arunacub.

Flora sat there and prayed to Bhagavan to keep her forever, never to let go of her.

Then she turned back and said, "Hey Tiruswami, I never told you about the strange dream I had". After she had narrated the dream (which the cubs heard with great amazement bordering on disbelief ("Bhagavan told you that?"), she said, "Oh before I forget, Tiruswami, wish you a very very happy birthday!"